Acknowledge one good thing you made happen today
Too often, as busy working moms, we are only hard on ourselves.
We see where we fall short, make a mistake, feel shame or embarrassment.
We rehash the mean thing our patient said to us over and over in our head.
We remember how our coworker tried to put us down because she was having a bad day (or month, or career. We all have a few of those at our place of work).
On the drive home from work we feel exhausted and overwhelmed. Sometimes we might even wonder if what we are doing is worth it or providing meaning to those we are trying to help.
It’s human nature to focus on the novel and the negative as mechanisms for survival. Humans learned to watch out for danger by staying alert and aware of potential threats.
Now we have potential threats around us all the time. The beeping machines and upset patients on the nursing units, the news, the traffic, emails, bills, and bickering kiddos.
It makes sense that we spend time focusing on these areas so we can solve the problem and continue on with our day.
Over time however, if we only focus on the bad or difficult things that occur throughout our day, we can begin to feel compassion fatigue or burnout settling in. This can begin the vicious stress cycle where all these potential threats build up in our body and we forget to think about the positive aspects of our life as well.
How often do we intentionally look for something good we created?
Looking for areas where we create positive experiences for ourselves and others can begin to dismantle that stress cycle. We can begin to ease up on ourselves by giving our brain proof that there are areas where we are doing well.
Stop and take a minute to reflect back on your day. Look for moments of lightness, joy, positivity, laughter, inspiration, happiness, or when you feel a sense of purpose.
Maybe you made a patient laugh who really needed it because they’ve been in the hospital for too long.
Maybe your kid came to you for a hug and you sat there for a minute taking it all in.
Maybe a coworker asked you for help and you were able to ease her overwhelm just a bit.
Maybe your partner said thank you for cooking for the family.
Maybe you gave yourself 5 minutes of quiet to rest your nervous system.
Maybe you made it through the day without saying anything mean to yourself (don’t underestimate the power of this one!)
There are many things you are doing right.
There are many things you are doing that bring joy to the lives of others.
There are many things you are doing that align with your sense of purpose.
Do not let the noise and chaos of those around you take away these moments of good.
As I type this last sentence I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes by the Dalai Lama:
“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace”
Sometimes I think we are the cause of destroying our own inner peace with our own suffering thoughts.
Release the bad or scary or challenging things that happened today. Talk to someone about the hard things you have going on.
And then, focus on one good thing that you made happen today.
Make space in your body to really feel whatever positive emotion that comes up as you think about that moment of peace, joy or laughter.
Do this every day and you will begin to start noticing the good more and more.
How might that affect your day to day experience of this one life?
